Waiting for the call...

I feel nauseous and bloated, cramped and sore 

Washed out and weak, self esteem on the floor

I can’t eat the cheese, nor yoghurt or toast, 

No coffee or chocolate or Sunday roast

Like an animal in a zoo, I’m attached to my chain

Waiting for this dialysis machine to drain. 

My appetite’s gone and I’m always tired,

I feel grey, and grumpy and uninspired. 

No random trips or coffee with a friend

This is the new reality I have to contend

Too many digestives and not enough tea

This restrictive diet is killing me

Weighed at the door to check my fluid intake

That blood pressure reading must be a mistake

Potassium, Phosphorous, Protein and Sodium

If they’re out of range, there’ll be pandemonium. 

I’ve been allocated my normal chair for the night

Four hours of sitting here, no end in sight

The machine is connected there’s no getting away

I need this dialysis to get through today 

Now the alarm bell is ringing and I wake with a shock

Its nothing serious, just a tube with a block

Sometimes I wonder how I came to this point 

I’m a prisoner held at ransom, my life at gunpoint.

I pass the time writing my new Bucket List 

Only now there’s a small, but important twist

I’m not asking for a trip to Rome or Sicily

Instead I want a stranger to rescue me 

I’ve never met you before, I don’t know who you are, 

But will you be my lifesaving organ donor? 

Seven calls down and still no find

Every day’s a struggle to keep a positive frame of mind.

Then something happened and it changed everything. 

It was Thirty One March, Two Thousand Sixteen.

No time to worry, to think, or to pray

I knew when I woke up it would be a new day.

Without my organ donor there would be no story 

No message of hope, salvation or glory

This poem is dedicated to honour her generous heart

For turning sorrow to hope when she had to depart.

I got my transplant that day and you changed everything.