How to meet your Elephant

Sometimes something so unexpected happens that your life changes forever. 
For me that happened when I met my Elephant.

I was sitting in a green consultation room chair, facing a man who was wearing bad smelling aftershave and a striped red tie. For some reason I remember the most insignificant details - the colour of his shoes (dark brown) and the length of his trousers (slightly too short). I remember feeling the cool air blowing through the open window.  But for the life of me: I couldn't hear what he was saying..

Or rather: I couldn't understand a word of his Sentence.

"You need a kidney and pancreas transplant "

My eyes filled with tears and I fisted them away. I remember thinking that there is no way I can cry in front of this man. He's obviously looking at the wrong column of numbers, and besides: I'm too young to need a transplant. 

The computer screen was open in front of him and he was scrolling through a list of figures. Short of running his finger physically down the screen, I could see that he was trying to gather his words while pretending to focus intently on each column of numbers.
When I really couldn't hold it in anymore and let out a loud sob, he finally turned to me and handed me a tissue the size of a kitchen sponge. I just knew this wasn't going to do much to absorb any water or grief.

My life as I knew it was over.                  
I was being chained to an Elephant and I didn't know how I was going to cope. As I understood it, my life would be limited to moving in smaller and smaller circles, eating a diet as restricted as a zoo animal. I'd bloat up and have a permanent grey and sad look on my face.  For all intents and purposes: I had become an Elephant.

It took me 8 weeks to process the news. I Googled questions, interrogated doctors and attended endless blood tests before I could finally share the news about the Elephant. It had been in the room for so long that I was almost able to ignore it and pretend it wasn't there. Except it was and I had to accept that unless I found a suitable donor I probably wouldn't live to see many more migrating seasons.My 1litre a day fluid restriction meant espresso sized cups of tea and nothing too salty to eat. I hadn't even started dialysis yet but already it felt like I was walking across the Serengeti, carrying a heavy load and not knowing when the rain would come, or even if... 

No more travelling as the weather and mood struck, I'd now have to schedule my life around a machine. Watering holes were no longer a favourite hangout, where I used to meet friends for endless cups of coffee and a chat. 

My herd of family and friends (apologies  for referring to you as such) were incredible. As much as I cried or questioned or doubted, they would let me know that Elephant herds are intensely loyal and supportive. Some flapped. Some wanted to stamp their feet .Others just brought their ears and broad shoulders, their patience and wisdom.

The Proverb goes that anyone can eat an elephant, you just have to do it one bit at a time. This elephant seemed so big and so impossible and I didn't know at which end to start. 

But sometimes something so unexpected happens that it changes your life forever...

This post is dedicated to my donor - the person who gave me a second chance and who has changed my world forevert. I am eternally grateful. 

If you would like to leave a comment, please do! I'd love to hear your thoughts x